Happy little fish guy hanging from a tree in Spain- just outside of the Juan Miró museum. When James and I traveled to Mallorca, this moment at Miró’s studio was my best pause. For most of the trip, I did the thing I always do on trips, even when I try to be present. I rush, rush, rush until I feel dragged around and overwhelmed.
I am terrible at arriving. I feel an inch of discomfort and I want to run. This follows me everywhere- even on trips. It’s the run from discomfort, the pull to take something (ice cream, wine, ruffles) to make it stop. In my classroom, the run kept me moving, fast. Too fast to ever really arrive and be with my students. Too fast to allow for silent moments in a conference or conversation with students. Too fast to listen with an open heart. I talked, a lot. And I moved around the classroom like I was a waitress at brunch, just trying to get the orders to the tables, fast. I prized efficiency and accuracy. Comma goes here. Worksheet to you. Papers due on Friday. Hurry up everybody!
Years later, I asked one of my former students an important question.